Mommy Profiles

NEL was a Seattle software tester before she became a mother.  She was very social and active, going to the gym, blogging, and watching TV during the week, while going out with friends, hiking, running, going dancing, and walking around town on the weekends. 

NEL currently lives with her husband and 15-month-old daughter.  She decided to quit her job and stay home because she imagined herself going back to work, getting up early, taking her daughter to daycare, picking her up, feeding her, putting her to bed, and having practically no time with her.  NEL’s parents were always working when she was younger, and she wasn’t close to them.  She didn’t want that kind of distance with her own daughter.  It was a hard decision to make, but NEL’s philosophy is that she has her entire life to work and make money, but only one chance with her daughter when she’s young.  She wants to enjoy her daughter’s childhood to the max, as long as they’re financially able.

Their daily routine is breakfast, playdate, lunch, cleaning during naptime, playtime, family time, the gym, cooking, clean-up, writing/blogging, and bedtime.  To save money, she and her husband have a budget, and they stick to it.  To make extra money, her husband volunteers for extra hours at work, and she writes as a freelancer for a local paper and online.  She hopes to one day do more with her blogs.

To  teach her daughter about her heritage, NEL speaks Chinese to her daughter at home, and they watch Chinese cartoons sometimes.  She plans to bring her daughter to China when she’s older.  For fun, NEL takes her daughter to Gymboree every week.  Her daughter loves it and is quite the tomboy.  They meet other moms for playdates and go out for sushi.  Her daughter loves tofu.

To battle isolation, NEL writes and blogs.  She doesn’t consider herself the best writer, but she enjoys it.  She also feels it’s important to meet up with friends and to get away from being a mom sometimes.  She and her husband go out on date nights, too.  Writing, blogging, and working out are activities that she absolutely needs to stay sane.

Bena has been an avid blogger for almost 2 years at Benaboboli's Weblog.  Before she became a mommy, Bena was working in Boston as an Education Assistant at what used to be the Boston Film/Video Foundation.  She moved back to New York in 2001.

Before kids, Bena loved to edit and learn about filmmaking, and it's still her dream.  She's always been pretty creative and loved to read, write, and educate herself about anything and everything that she had time for.  These days, with the little free time that she has, she blogs and tries to shoot some pool with her husband.  They enjoy each other's company and actually met in a pool hall 18 years ago!

After becoming a mommy, Bena stayed home for about 6 months with her daughter, and then was a waitress for a few months, until she found a job as an Administrative Assistant at an Insurance Company.  Now, Bena lives in North Bergen, NJ with her husband, 8-year-old daughter, and 2-year-old son.  Though they are technically not married yet, she and her husband have been together for about 9 years.

Bena's daily routine is just like that movie "Groundhog Day."  She wakes up around 8 am to get ready for work.  Her husband is unemployed right now--he watches the kids.  Bena works a full-time job but gets out at 5pm, so she has a little time with the kids in the evenings.  Usually, her husband makes dinner when she gets home, and they just watch TV or play with the kids.  Bena's daughter loves to role play and put on skits (since she was 4 years old) and it's a lot of fun, because Bena really gets to see how fast her daughter is growing up.

With one income at the moment, it's not easy to save money.  It's been very stressful the past year, but to make life easier, Bena just writes, every single day.  She always tells her daughter to be thankful for the things she does have, which is exactly what Bena's parents had said to her.  Bena had very little when she was young, and she thinks that was a good thing because when times are tough like this, she's able to survive.

Bena says she doesn't practice the traditions of her Chinese culture as much as she should, but that's because her parents were busy working when she was young.  Bena's very Americanized, but since having her son, she's trying more and more to learn about her ancestors and her country so that she can teach her kids, as well.

Bena can honestly say that she really does have a lot of fun raising her kids and just being a wife and mother.  She used to be a very hyperactive teenager, a social butterfly.  She always had to be out and about, traveling, meeting people, etc.  But she finds that it's really nice to just come home and be with this little family that she's created with her husband and think that she's accomplished something she never imagined she'd ever do.  She never thought she could settle down, and she feels so blessed and loved every day.

These days, Bena finds that the one thing she loves to do by herself is just get in the car, drive to the closest Starbucks, order her usual Iced Venti Red-Eye (Black Iced Coffee with a shot of espresso), open up her little Dell netbook, and just write.  She finds it very therapeutic!

AT, also known as Angela at mommy bytes and moonfever0 around the internet, became a mommy 8 years ago when she was working crazy hours as a software engineer in the biotech field.  Afterwards, due to daycare constraints, she fell into working normal business hours.  Previously, she was also able to telecommute one or two days a week and save on daycare and commuting time.  At her current company, she works five days a week in the office as a software engineer and manager.

Before kids, there were so many things to do!  AT loved to travel, go skiing, attend classical music and rock concerts, play classical piano, sing in a choir, play in a band, play tennis, and watch movies.  She especially loves thrillers.

AT grew up mostly in New York, went to school in Massachusetts and California, and has lived in Massachusetts for the past 15 years.  She lives with her husband, 8-year-old son Adam, and 5-year-old daughter Dova.  AT works away from home mainly to support her family, and her husband stays at home to take care of the kids.

During the work week, AT helps to get the kids ready for school, especially her daughter, who hates to get dressed.  Since the kids go to school fairly late and AT’s work hours are somewhat flexible, she has some extra time to snuggle with them and see them off.  She works during normal business hours and sometimes needs to travel for work.  In the evenings, they have dinner, and then she sometimes plays card games or board games with the kids.  AT also enjoys playing video games with them on the computer, the Wii, or Nintendo DS (They think she’s the coolest mom!).  After the kids go to sleep, AT spends time addicted to the Internet or watching TV with her husband.  During soccer season in the spring and fall, they are constantly going to soccer practices in the evening or games on the weekends.

AT’s family is very interested in frugal living in their household, although they do like to enjoy family vacations and day trips.  She’s spelled out many tips for saving money in the post, 25 Ways I Save Money.  The most important one is to make your own lunches for work.  It is so easy to eat in the cafeteria or local sub shop, but it is costly in the long run and often not as healthy. They also save money by turning down the heat and using their wood stove in the winter.  AT cuts her family's hair and is always looking for the best bargains in the stores and online.  And, she makes a tiny bit of extra money by blogging.

To make her life easier, AT is always trying to look for ways to do things efficiently.  This applies to preparing meals, consolidating errands, and delegating tasks.  Most of all, she tries not to take on too much.  When they commit to too many activities, everyone gets stressed out.  There's nothing wrong with saying no and just spending a day at home with the family.

AT doesn’t speak much Chinese, so she can't pass it on to her kids.  She was born in the United States, and her parents, who immigrated from China, insisted that she learn English from the start so that she would fit in.  AT understood Mandarin while growing up, but she never really spoke it.  By the time she was in grade school, AT went to Chinese school on the weekends.  All the kids were just like her, with varying amounts of fluency in Chinese.  Most of all they would just get together and have fun.  They ended up forming a Chinese youth orchestra where they would play Chinese music, which was much more interesting to them than learning to speak, read, and write Chinese.  In the end, AT feels unfortunate that she doesn't know much of the Chinese language.
 
AT does buy books about Chinese culture for the kids and herself.  In fact, she’s learned quite a bit about Chinese culture from children's books.  Just recently, AT learned from Henry's First-Moon Birthday that you color eggs red by rubbing them with wet red envelopes.  These red eggs symbolize happiness and good luck. They celebrate Chinese New Year with AT’s mother, where they have a traditional hot pot dinner.  AT has also made dumplings with her daughter.  Both of her kids are proud to be half-Chinese.

Nowadays, most of AT’s activities are done with the family.  They like to go skiing, go ice skating, and play soccer and frisbee in their yard.  In the summer, they take family bike rides along the rail trail near their house.
 
What does AT do that’s just for her?  She enjoys listening to music and podcasts and occasionally gets to play classical piano.  For nearly five years, AT also used blogging as an outlet for her sanity.  She tries to keep her posts positive and relishes the beautiful moments with her family.  Recently, AT also started regular visits to a massage therapist, which has greatly improved her stress levels and well-being.