Mommy Profiles

LM was an internist living in Chicago when she became a mommy.  She had liked to work out and participate in sports and outdoor activities.

About a year ago, LM stopped practicing medicine so that she could spend more time with her children and her aging parents.  Also, so that their lives would not be so chaotic, such as being paged when giving the kids a bath or putting them to bed.  In fact, one of her son's first words was "pager".  LM is currently at a part-time desk job that has some flexibility and allows her to keep up-to-date in her field for when there is a right time to return to her practice.

LM now lives in the northern suburbs of Chicago with her husband and 2 kids, ages 6 and 3.  Her daily routine consists of getting the kids to school, going to work or running errands, picking up the kids, helping with homework, preparing dinner, getting the kids ready for bed, and then watching a movie or surfing on the internet, if there's any time left.

To save money, LM's family cooks most of their own meals and packs their own lunches. Also, LM's family acquires second-hand clothes and buys clothes on sale.  To make her life easier, she has a cleaning service come once a month.

To teach her children about their heritage, LM's family goes to Chinatown a lot with her in-laws, and they are thinking of starting Mandarin classes for the kids soon.

For fun, LM enjoys getting together with friends and family.  She also likes to participate in internet forums with similar interest groups.  She's not sure exactly what it is that she does just for herself.  That's a tough question for her, as she's a workaholic, and often feels that everyone else comes first.  However, she is starting to pay more attention to her skincare--now that she's not getting any younger.  Sounds like it's time for a relaxing spa day, LM!

KC was a music teacher at the Music School for the Rhode Island Philharmonic when she became a mommy.  She and her husband used to enjoy exploring new restaurants, watching movies, traveling, reading, playing tennis, and exercising.

Now, KC lives with her husband and 2-year-old daughter in Ann Arbor.  She chose to be a stay-at-home mom so she can spend as much time with her daughter as she can before her daughter grows up too fast!

KC's daughter goes to daycare twice a week.  Otherwise, their days are filled with playing, playdates, and outings to the library, park, & store.  Her daughter naps while KC tries to get some sleep, watch TV, or clean the house.  KC prepares dinner while her daughter plays nearby.  Then, it's time for dinner, bath, and bedtime.  Afterwards, KC and her husband try to watch movies or catch up on phone calls and e-mail.

To make life easier for KC, she tries to keep her daughter in a routine, so that things are more predictable.  They try to save money by being green in any way they can and also put money aside into savings funds.

To teach her daughter about her culture, KC has been incorporating Chinese into her conversations with her daughter as much as possible and is constantly teaching her new words. They also read simple Chinese books and listen to Chinese children's CDs.  Both sets of grandparents also try to speak to her daughter in Chinese whenever possible.

For fun, KC enjoys spending time with her family, whether it's just playing together after dinner, taking walks outdoors, or spending weekends going out to eat, going to the store, library, & park, or hanging out with friends and family.

What does KC do just for herself?  She recently joined the Dexter Community Orchestra in January of 2008. She rehearses once a week and performs multiple concerts each year.  Every so often, she also tries to get a massage or go out to lunch with friends.

NCS was an architect living in Boston, NYC, LA, Berlin, Amsterdam, Zurich, and Poland before she became a mommy.  She had also written a book on the lake and river baths in Zurich.  She's one of those people who are curious about almost everything and hence, like to do nearly everything (that doesn't harm anyone else).  She had liked to hear concerts, see movies, and go away for the weekend, and has found that having a kid has definitely made it more difficult to do these things.  Lately, anything for personal leisure or anything spontaneous is pretty much put to the side.

Now, NCS divides her time between the Chicago suburbs and Katowice, Poland.  She has found that part-time architectural jobs are rare, and a full-time architecture job is basically a job-and-a-half.  NCS has a pretty strong independent streak, so she decided to have a go at being self-employed, which would allow her to schedule her time as she wanted and to spend more time with her 4-year-old son.

NCS's ultimate dream is to have a peaceful, daily routine.  But basically, in the morning, there's a mad dash to get her son up and to make and eat breakfast, a mad dash to get him to preschool on time, a mad dash to then try to make the most of her time and be productive while he's not at home.  This means working on their family violin rental business, cleaning up after her son, thinking about lunch, thinking about dinner, daydreaming about how to relax, and constantly wondering about how to make things easier.  And then there's scampering to pick her son up, dashing to get dinner ready and have him eat it, and taking a bath.  And then there's the monumental task of putting him to bed before falling asleep herself first.

To save money, NCS's husband cuts her son's hair, as well as hers.  To her, saving money usually means buying things for her son rather than herself.

To make things easier for her, it really helped a lot to hire someone to clean the house once in a while.  But beyond that, she thinks she's only made decisions in her life which have made everything more complex.

To teach her son about his heritage, NCS insisted that her mother only speak Chinese with him.  He also goes to Chinese class once a week.  NCS is part of a group called the Chinese Fine Arts Society, so they go to a lot of concerts which they host, where her son hears Western and also Chinese music being played.  NCS's husband is Polish, so their son goes to a Polish daycare for part of the week.

For fun, NCS's family visits the arboretum, arranges playdates, swims, goes to Millennium Park in the summer for concerts, and goes out for Dim Sum or soybean milk on the weekends.

What does she do for herself?  Having just turned forty, NCS has decided to make her own health a priority and signed up (and managed to attend) a boot camp exercise class twice a week!

JO was a Senior Network Engineer for a cable company in Atlanta when she became a mommy.  She and her husband liked to eat out, go to movies, golf, and travel.  After her first daughter was born, she hired a live-in nanny and went back to work.  Even though the nanny was very nice and caring with the baby, there were still a lot of things the nanny did that JO didn't agree with.  JO also felt like she had missed out a lot on the precious baby years, so she decided to stay at home when her second daughter was born.

JO & her husband now live in Seattle, WA with their 4 ½ and 2-year-old daughters.  In the mornings, the kids are fed and dressed by 9 am, and then the older one goes to Montessori school while JO and the younger one go to a playdate or the park.  If the little one naps, JO can get some chores done, relax a bit, and maybe even catch a 20-minute cat nap before picking up the older one.  Her husband has recently started traveling to CA weekly for a contract job, so night time is a bit hectic for her, trying to get the girls fed, bathed, and to bed by 9pm.

JO’s husband works as a contractor, which allows him to make more money and be the sole bread winner of their household.  They also try to make extra income by selling stuff on Ebay, although that has gotten harder as more people start to sell the same things.  Last year, they made some good money selling unlocked iPhones on Ebay

To teach the kids about their culture, JO tries to speak Chinese to them at home, but they both gravitate towards English, especially after having started school.  She sent her older child to Chinese school last summer and will do the same again this year.   Hopefully she will learn to speak more Chinese.

For fun, JO’s family likes going to parks, children's museums, and the beach during summer.  They also go to Las Vegas and Disney World/Land once a year or so.

To find some time for herself, JO has started sending her 2-year-old to a daycare nearby two mornings a week.  That gives her some much needed free time to do her own things.  JO has also recently started working out again.  The gym she goes to has a daycare so she gets an hour of work out time all to herself 4-5 days a week.  The mommy group she’s in also organizes mom's night outs, so she tries to go once a month to just have some fun without the kids. 

VC was an IT auditor living in the Chicago suburbs when she became a mommy.  She loved eating (going out to eat, trying new restaurants, & having dinner with friends) and sleeping.  

Now, she is attempting to work full-time while being a mom to a 3 ½-month old baby.  She needs the adult interaction, but she would love to be at home to watch him and take care of him.  She thinks that it's nice to feel needed.  Plus, when he smiles and is happy, nothing is wrong in the world.  This week, however, she missed him rolling over for the first time because she was at work.  Next week, she will have to travel for work.  And the pain of pumping and FedEx'ing milk back or bringing it back through TSA security is not something she's looking forward to.  That is making this decision seem very wrong.

VC's day consists of feeding the baby, changing him, getting him to sleep, & playing with him again when he wakes up (if she's working from home, or he decides he is awake at 6am).  Then, working.  Then, coming home, feeding him, giving him a bath, and getting him to sleep.  Weekends are the best.  On Saturdays, they leave the house and go to a Farmers' Market or run errands and are a family all day long.

As for saving money, since they don't go anywhere anymore, they are saving on gas.  Since they don't go out to eat as much, they are saving a ton of money there.  Otherwise, since she frequents the same stores weekly (Babies R Us, Target, & Baby Gap), she has become one of those buy-and-return people (buy when she needs it, and if she sees it on sale soon thereafter, buy it again and return it on the original receipt).  But all in all, they probably spend more money.  They adjusted the thermostat to make the house more comfortable for the baby, but that raises the bills.

VC's life is made easier not so much by what she does, but by what other people are willing to do for her.    Her mom comes over most Mondays through Fridays and takes care of the baby.  Then, either her mom or her husband will make dinner.

To teach her baby about his culture, they bought Elmer the Elephant books on amazon.com, which are written in Chinese and English.  They also have Chinese board books from Taiwan.  Plus, VC added Chinese text to their existing flashcards.  Her mother speaks to him in Chinese every day, and she speaks to him in Chinese every afternoon. Also, VC's aunt threw him a 100-day party (because she had not thrown him a 1-month party).

For fun these days, they go to the Farmers' Market, take pictures of baby, and watch the baby do simple things for the first time in utter amazement.  That's her joy and fun. 

What does VC do for herself?  Sleep.    After she can integrate food back into her baby's diet (they did a very strict elimination diet), she'll eat chocolate cake with whipped cream and a glass of milk, and a key lime pie from Morton's, and blue butter cookies from Busy Bee Bakery.  But until then, sleep is just for her.

AD was a Web and Communications Manager in Chicago before she became a mommy.  She liked to ride her bike around Chicago, train for and run in races, travel to different countries, see live music, and paint in acrylics and oils.

AD now lives in the suburbs with her husband and their 4-year-old daughter, plus a little boy due in Aug 2008.  She tried to balance work with being a mom, and never felt like she was able to give her best to either one. She felt extremely guilty all the time, and most of it was because she felt like she wasn't always able to give her daughter her full attention.  She left her job when her daughter turned 3, and discovered an amazing and wonderful year of learning and bonding.  She knew that she could never regret making the decision to spend time with her daughter, and that she will have the opportunity to work again after her children are older.

Her days are currently filled with breakfast in PJs, storytime at the library, playgroup or playdates with a friend, swimming or tumbling class, and the park.  In the afternoon, her daughter goes to preschool while she runs errands, cleans up, or does a little work.  Then, her daughter gets to watch a DVD and have a snack while AD prepares dinner.  Afterwards, they try to go for a walk or bike ride around the neighborhood if the weather is nice.

For a little extra income and mental stimulation, AD still does some freelance web design, which is manageable because she can take smaller, shorter-term projects.  In general, her family is big on saving and living simply.  They try to limit eating out and like to buy things that are gently used, rather than new.  If there is a bigger purchase which is more of a "want" than a "need", they will save up for it.

To make her life easier, AD is part of a playgroup consisting of 5-6 kids her daughter's age.  They meet every week or 2, and it's great for her daughter to be around other children and for AD to talk to other moms who are going through similar experiences as she is.  Also, her husband likes to grill a bunch of food over the weekend which will last them the week.  She can use it creatively in different dishes, and it saves a lot of time.

AD has her daughter taking Mandarin language classes, and they celebrate the Chinese New Year to teach her about her culture.  Although AD was born in the States, her parents immigrated from Taiwan, so they are an excellent influence.

For fun, AG visits the arboretum regularly, and goes on family bike rides, letterboxing hikes, and cookouts.  When she has time for herself, she reads after her daughter goes to bed, and runs (when she's not pregnant).

H2 was a pathologist living in LA when she became a mommy.  She enjoyed traveling, running, watching movies, hanging out with friends, eating out, and skiing.  Making the decision to go back to work was both easy and difficult for her.  Easy because her husband doesn't support her quitting her job, and difficult because she struggles to balance her part-time work with being a mom.  Sometimes she thinks being part-time makes things doubly hard, because she has to work outside the home and still has a lot of responsibility at home.  Sometimes she realizes that she really likes her balance.

Now, H2 lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and 2 kids, a 5-year-old girl and a 10-month-old boy.  On work days, she gets the kids ready and drops them off at 2 different places before going to work.  After work, she picks them up and goes to swim class once a week before going home and having dinner.  On her days off, they have fun with playdates, the playground, museums, and hanging out at home.

To make her life easier, H2 has a housecleaner every couple of weeks.  It helps her to have great friends who are in the same boat and to have an understanding husband who doesn't complain when they eat pizza on worknights, and who makes lunch for the kids the next day and does the dishes.

To teach her kids about their culture, H2 takes her daughter to Chinese class once a week (40 miles away!).  Her mother-in-law speaks Chinese to them.  They have many friends who are Asian-American or have adopted Chinese girls, and are especially interested in retaining their heritage.  H2 doesn't speak Chinese herself, because her mom was warned by her friends that H2 would have an accent when she grew up.  *Sigh*  She wishes that she could speak Chinese.

For fun these days, H2 has started running again.  She and her husband are training for a marathon.  She's been able to do two marathons in the past few years and enjoys accomplishing something outside of work or home.  She also loves to watch movies, read, and spend family days at the park or zoo.  Also, every few months, H2 and her friends hire babysitters and have "adults night out" and go to a nice dinner.  Ahhhh!

EC was living in LA writing screenplays and taking a course on film directing when she became a pregnant.  She enjoyed working, spending time with family & friends, doing yoga & aerobics, traveling, eating good food, and watching good movies. She also played games such as Poker, Scrabble, Settlers of Catan, Mahjong, and Euchre.

EC now lives in San Francisco with her husband & 3 boys, ages 3 ½ years, 16 months, and 1 month.  She continues to have delusions of being able to do her own work from home.  Her usual routine changes daily based on what’s in the best interest of her kids.  Everything is scheduled around their naps, meals, classes (gym, music, preschool), library story times, play dates, doctor's appointments, birthday parties, etc.  She pumps or nurses every 3 hours, and is constantly trying to spend quality time with each child.  Amid the chaos, she has always tried to maintain a bedtime routine:  bath/shower, drink milk, brush their teeth (hopefully), read books, and lay down with them until they fall asleep.  Afterwards, she’ll have some time to watch a movie with her husband.  Then, she’ll try to go to bed, but will end up going online or doing housework.  EC does have help with childcare, which helps immensely.

EC’s commitment to being green saves money because she doesn't like to buy or waste things.  She makes some money from investments...and poker winnings.  :)

To teach her kids about their culture, EC encourages the grandparents to speak, read, and sing songs in Chinese with the kids; and the kids are frequently exposed to Chinese cuisine and Asian friends.  Also, she plays Chinese cassette tapes for them (archaic--she knows), and she started Tivo-ing “Ni Hao, Kai-Lan“.  She hopes that her whole family can go on vacation to Taiwan someday soon.

For fun, other than watching, hugging, kissing, holding, and playing with the kids, EC and her husband still like to watch movies and play cards. They went through a phase of nightly Sudoku puzzles, which ended with the birth of their third baby. Two months ago, she joined a green mommy book club, which meets monthly.  Composing scrapbooks from genuine scraps and mementos for her boys is one of many things on her fun, wishful to-do list.

Revised Friday, March 6, 2009